The Cheese Incident WIP
by RainbowRaintheunicorn
Summary: Hello, this is my story The Cheese Incident. It's a cross over of Call of Duty, My Little Pony, Transformers, Need for Speed, Cops, Mythbusters, It's Me or the Dog, Tanked, Metro 2033, Fallout 3 and New Vegas, Homestuck, Lollipop Chainsaw, Mirai Nikki, Rage, Tenchu Shadow Assassins, and Cinderella.


The Cheese Incident

By: Rainbow Rain 3

"Gee-whiz! That's a small dog." Boomed Blake as he walked in to the kitchen. The kitchen was a small, clean, cozy space for cooking with a small table in the corner for a 'Party of One' sorts of dinner. There was a loaf of bread in the oven and it warmed the nostrils of Blake's ensemble.

"Hey! Be careful with him! I got him when I was eight years old..." Alex was stopped mid sentence by hand on the shoulder from Jaxon.

"Yeah! Don't step on it Blake!" Yelled Julius

"I won't! Here I'll put it on the counter!" Blake picks up the dog with one large hand.

"Oh the dog has a penis?" Screams Blake. Blake put the dog on the counter and begins methodically to wash his hands.

"I need a sandwich after all that excitement." Blake grumbles.

"LOL, penis" Telescope is heard coming in from the icy winter storm.

"You know I still can't believe we walked in all of this." Complains Jaxon.

"Well, we were bored just sitting in Telescope's basement. I mean what else were we going to do?" Julius exclaims.

Telescope walks to his older brother Blake who is busy with a sandwich. Telescope looks much like his older brother. Both are large men with appetites to match. Blake has black hair and olive skin whilst Telescope has red hair and pale white skin. Blake is visiting for the weekend and just arrived that day.

"Blake, why is that piece of cheese on that spatula?" Questions Telescope.

"Oh I touched the dog's penis so I put him on the counter ,but I didn't want to put the cheese where the dog has been so I put it on a spatula." Answers Blake.

"Oh dude! Check out that wicked spider!" Alex excitedly yells.

"It's going to land on the cheese!" Yells Blake. Blake swats at the spider. He misses and sends the cheese flying. It gets stuck to Alex's ceiling.

"Oh come on! Blake, that's like the sixth time there has been an accident in my kitchen." Yells Alex.

"Hey! You should be glad I didn't try cooking anything! I might have started a grease fire! In your kitchen." Blake yells back at Alex. Blake stops and looks at Alex and time stops. Blake realizes that Alex is quite attractive. He's two years younger sure ,but what's two years? Alex also has black hair and a lighter shade of olive than Blake's skin.

Blake thinks to himself "He must be pretty muscular. After all he plays soccer and lifts weights and such. But he wouldn't go for me would he?"

Blake rushes Alex and puts him over his shoulder.

"We're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of... Australia!" Sings Blake.

"FORWARD UNTO DAWN!" Yells the rest of the group as they chase Blake and Alex up the stairs.

"Hey what are you guys doing?" Alex's older brother comes out of his room in nothing but a towel. Alex slaps his bare chest and his brother angrily slams his door. Blake lays Alex on his bed and Blake goes over and turns on the Xbox.

"What are all these games? Are they imports?" Blake exclaims he pulls out a magazine wedged in between two games and realizes it's a pornographic magazine. Not only pornographic ,but straight people porn.

"You should really put this in a safer place." Says Telescope as he takes the magazine.

"A boy as young as you shouldn't have such reading material." Alex's brother comes in and takes the magazine.

"Hey! This is from MY stash! How did you get it?" Yell's Alex's brother.

"Mom was going to clean your room a couple of weeks back and it was laying on your night stand next to your Vaseline and tissues! I was trying to protect you." Says Alex ashamed.

"And when did you plan on giving it back? When Veronica turns 80?" Yells Alex's brother. He goes back into his room his towel exposing his backside. He slams his door and all that is heard is a sigh and an empty container hitting the floor.

"Well, we know what he's going to be doing." Jaxon jokes. The group shares a hearty laugh as the heater kicks on and knocks the last bit of winter chill out of the boys' bodies. Blake takes a moment to survey Alex's room. Alex's room was very clean. With an assortment of knives and one of those really cool closets with the folding doors! Many Halo and Call of Duty posters adorn his wall as well as a few Marines posters. He had his Xbox and tv right across from his bed for easy mid night gaming sessions and his computer at the foot of his bed. Blake was starting to get ideas on how to redesign his room. And to top it off Alex's room had a slight citrus scent to it.

"Hey Alex, you want to head over to Casey's and get some food?" Telescope asks looking up from his phone.

"Sure let me put some warmer clothes on." Alex says as he steps into his closet and puts on some more substantial winter clothing. The boys step out in the the winter wonderland. Nothing had been the same since the Battle of the International Space Station. All the seasons were replaced with Winter because of a major flaw in an untested bio-weapon the government had used as a last ditch effort to repel the invaders of the International Space Station. As a result their home planet was reduced to piles of molten rock and ash ,but due to a faulty 'O-ring' coolant had leaked out over the earth and turned nearly every thing into a frozen tundra. Thanks government. However it wasn't all bad in the US since the launch site for the bio-weapon was in the North Pole and left the northern most countries frozen almost completely over. The US is still able to function even though this winter is more than likely not going to thaw until the next millennium.

The walk to Casey's was a dangerous ,but fun one. There were several icy patches in the road and Blake fell down several times taking down Alex, Jaxon, and Telescope leaving Julius to sort out the mess. The boys were greeted with success when they saw the warm light of Casey's. The general store gave off a warmth that reminded them of summer and several people were huddled around the general store to keep warm. The faces of many brave travelers saluted the boys on their valiant effort. Most people traveled by large SUVs and trucks with extra wheels in back. The few that walked in this were considered true warriors and often given the highest of praise. There had been several occasions where travelers had witnessed the boys walking and picked them up and brought them where they needed to be. Many times they were often given supplies and invited into homes and the boys shared many stories of their valiant efforts to travel to the general store and their friend's homes.

"Welcome brave winter warriors! Here. I'll take your coats." Yells Lucky from behind the counter

"Have a hot chocolate! On the house! And a hearty 'huzzah' from all of our guests tonight!" Yells the other clerk.

"Huzzah to our brave snow warrior!" Someone yells.

"HUZZAH!" Comes from all the patrons and clerks.

The boys were seated to a warm hot chocolate and told many stories of their triumphs of the snow and their battle with a roving band of 'Snow Bandits' that they had encountered when we had lost their way home. The audience was absolutely smitten by the time the stories were finished. Their supplies were either bought for them or given to them by the fellow wanderers of the winter wastes.

"Oh dude! I never want to get a car with all this loot we're being given." Telescope boasted cheerfully.

"Yeah it's nice and all ,but I've been working on Annabelle for a long time now. I've outfitted her with a new chassis and reenforced plating and bullet proof glass. She's so heavy now she'll never be able to see 100 miles per hour again ,but I can easily get her up to a cool 55. Besides it's becoming more and more dangerous now a days. Those bandits aren't going to let up any time soon and even with the 'kill on sight' order issued by the government that's just going to make them more angry!" Blake reasoned.

"Well we all have our weapons with us right? So we should be alright. Right?" Alex questioned.

"As long as I have the battle shovel I'll be alright." Jaxon pridefully cheers.

"But you're going to need a marksman if you plan on having a chance at survival against a bandit raid. I'm the best marksman out of anyone I know. Blake is the best at swordsmanship." Telescope remarked.

"I'm not sure if you would call it 'swordsmanship' I like to think of myself as a general guy. Who can fight with what ever he gets his hands on. The Invisible Blade is my weapon of choice though." Says Blake calmly.

"How did you get that thing any way? You never tell us. But the one time I've seen you use it I want to get my hands on one." Julius pants as he catches up the group.

"Let's walk and talk here. We need to reach Telescope's house before night fall." Blake remarks.

"It was a crisp day in November shortly after the coolant incident and our victory over the invaders of the International Space Station. I had gone to visit my favorite place in the world to see my favorite horse in the world. It was simply awful trying to navigate through the snowstorm with Annabelle. When I had got there they were loading the horses on to a trailer. To where I didn't know. I jumped out of the car and ran into the stables. I knew Penny was the last stall on the left and it appeared that they were loading from the right." Blake says valiantly.

"What does this have to do with the Invisible Blade?" Julius questioned.

"I'll tell you if you let me. Now, where was I... I remember! So, I had just gotten to her stall. I entered and sat down on the salt block in the corner." Blake says pointing to the ground as if to motion where the salt block was.

"So, I asked her. 'What's going on Penny? Why are they taking all of you guys? Where are you going?' She told me that the owners of the stable had died in an explosion at a pancake factory. The family is taking them to auction. She then went to the corner of her stall and pawed at a patch of soft dirt. In it was the Invisible Blade. She gave it to me and told me she was going to make a break for it and we would sort it all out when we were free." Blake stops and sighs and continues.

"I wasn't nearly as skilled in combat as I am now ,but we had made it through the stable and we were almost outside when we were spotted. Penny bolted as did I. Then, just a loud crack like thunder rang out and it was so powerful it shook my chest. Then Penny fell over. She was badly injured. I couldn't help her. An order was issued from the marksman on the roof and two others took aim. I knew I was in a bad spot. A very bad spot. I unsheathed the Invisible Blade and said 'All right. You just killed my best friend. I demand retribution. I like to think of myself as a nice person so let's put down our weapons and figure something out.' I had no idea what I was going to do with a thing that fit in a pendant in a necklace and was the size of a sewing needle ,but I figured I might as well go down in a blaze of glory. Just then another thunder crack rang out and a bullet hit the tree behind me spraying me with ice and small splinters. I said 'I'm going to ask once more and then the games are over.' Another crack rang out. I ran and the two ground marksmen and another man rushed towards me."

"There's no way this could have happened. How could those marksmen could be that inaccurate?" Alex complained.

"They weren't inaccurate... They were toying with him. They were mercenaries more than likely." Telescope says as he spits on the ground.

"No honor in it. Bloodshed isn't just a job you can take off at the end of the day and go home, eat a tv dinner and go to bed over. It's something more than that. Something that should be only used in the most dire of circumstances."

"That they were. If I could have seen through their masks I bet I would have seen a wide grin from ear to ear." Blake continues stoically.

"The three men rushed up to me. I swung with the Invisible Blade and I had no idea it was retractable. Makes sense though. It's constantly sharpening itself. Making sure it's nice and sharp for the next person. His neck gushed blood. One down I thought to myself. I might have a fighting chance. I quickly dispatched the two others their chests and stomachs rupturing forth with a cocktail of organs, partially digested food, and blood. I looked for the other marksman when I heard a pop and saw a figure fall from the roof into the grass. He killed himself. I could only imagine the horror he must have experienced whilst watching through a rifle scoop three men just taken down by some guy that was holding a necklace and seemingly able to disembowel someone with the flick of his wrist. I rushed over to Penny. She was starting to become blurry and translucent. It wouldn't be long until her energies were depleted." Blake stops again. Sighs. Telescope puts a hand on his shoulder.

"She told me that she was so sorry for bringing me into all of this. All the other horses were gone by this point and it was just her and I. I told her 'Listen I would do anything for you. I wish I could say we will make it out of this ,but you can see that you are fading away too. At least they got their punishment.' She told me how wonderful it was to have me as her friend and that she wouldn't want to go any other way. Finally the wind swept the last of her image away and soon the winter chill replaced the warmth I had felt from her fading body. And that's how I got the Invisible Blade." Blake finishes.

The boys were silent. They had known about the Invisible Blade and witnessed it's carnage ,but they had never known the origin of the hallowed weapon. The light was fading fast ,but not one of the boys' faces were dry.

Chapter Two

Blake was down in his garage finishing the installation of a heavy duty engine that he had procured from a wrecked Bandit transport vehicle. Blake was proud of his find. While riding home with a group of Space Marines who were trying their best to protect the roads from bandit raiding parties they had spotted the wrecked bandit transport vehicle. Those Space Marines... So proud and so brave helped Blake get the engine out and load it on to the supply vehicle. Blake had learned a great deal about automobiles since shortly after the world was blanketed by snow and ice. It was a baptism by fire for Blake but he had weathered it quite well.

"Gee wilikers, Annabelle! You're going to looks so good tearing down that road with this new engine. You know no one thought that I could convert a 1998 Buick Skylark into a practical light infantry tank ,but I've almost done it. I can only imagine the shear shock when I go to visit my mother. I tried my hardest to leave your exterior untouched so that way everyone knows without a shed of a doubt that you are the same car that was here before the snow fell."

Blake stopped for a moment and thought about the day the snow started. The snow was relentless. It was the thickest snowfall that at that point any one had ever seen. Blake's mother was determined not to miss work and set out for work. The snow had gotten so awful she had to leave her car on the road and walk to a hard ware store where many people had taken refuge. By the time the snow had let up enough where seeing more than a foot was possible the carnage was apparent. So many cars were stuck infront of that store that it became an impenetrable wall of metal and engineers parachuted into the parking lot. Only to discover that people were starting to build shelters for themselves inside the store. The employees were living inside the store now too. Instead of disbanding the sprouting community they left it a lone and routinely brought supplies in. Blake's mother fell in love with one of the engineers and they got married. Their Honeymoon was in the outdoor section of the store ,but was it marvelous! Blake's mother had sent him many pictures of their new home and the Honey Moon too! Blake hoped one day he would experience true love like that.

After about two more hours of work Blake had finished installing the engine. He put the key in the ignition and Annabelle roared to life. The sound was so ferocious he had no idea how he could get away with calling her Annabelle. He thought of other possible names like Olga or Gwendolyn. Those names would strike fear into the hearts of anyone! But Blake decided to just to keep her name Annabelle after all he wouldn't want to confuse her.

Blake dragged his tired body up the stairs to his room. He layed his tired body on the bed and turned on the television. Nothing caught his attention so he put in a VHS tape he had put some episodes of My Little Pony on. No matter how many times he watched these episodes he could never tire of them. He really liked Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash ,but as of late Rarity had been tugging on his heart strings. He didn't know why. Blake was hit by a flood of emotions when he thought about his first boyfriend Antony. Blake wished for a love like that again. So wonderful and amazing while it existed. Blake then drifted off to sleep.

Blake was awakened by the ringing of his phone.

"Hello?" Answered Blake.

"Why hello there stranger! Aren't you looking for something more flavorful in life?" Said the stranger in a sort of silly manner.

Blake rubbed his eyes and an image of a clown talking to him flashed into his head.

"Yeah I guess you could say that... I've been looking for-" Blake was cut short.

"For a boyfriend!?" The stranger said cheerfully.

"Who is this? Is this a prank?" Blake asked accusingly.

"Come to this address and find out!" Said the stranger. Just then Blake's fax machine was producing a slip of paper with an address on it.

"That wasn't even plugged in..." Blake sat blankly. The stranger had hung up.

"Well, what's the worst that could happen? I mean it's not like everyone can just make a fax machine work without electricity. I could perhaps be chosen by a pseudo or a demi god of some sorts for its ministry or a hive mind bent on ruling humanity. Or even worse! The aliens are coming back for revenge!" Blake exclaimed.

"All though that last situation is nearly impossible since we practically wiped out the entire race of those aliens invading the International Space Station. There were like three left and we sent them running into the farthest reaches of space!" Blake cheerfully said aloud.

Blake prepared to weather the elements and thought to himself it was a great chance to give Annabelle a dry run of sorts to see how she would perform now on the road. Blake then looked in the mirror and then said his one of his favorite phrases.

"REGULATORS MOUNT UP!" Blake pumped his fist into the air. Blake then slid down the banister and opened the door to his garage. The garage still smelled heavily of sweat and oil.

Blake then yelled "FORWARD UNTO DAWN" and with that Annabelle roared to life and Blake tore down the open road to the address. It wasn't too far away from his house. It was the old DMV that fell shortly after the government was being shaken to it's core by angry citizens from all across the world. The government realized that with as many casualties that the Battle of the International Space Station had caused that the government needed reform. The DMVs were the first government agency to fall. Automobile handling was now going to be taught in schools and second graders would get a license ,but would only be allowed to operate with an adult in the vehicle up until fifth grade then they could operate a motor vehicle by themselves. Blake already had his license before this happened so the changes need not apply to him.

Well, here he was. Standing in the shadow of a TITAN defense system. It was placed her in the even the invaders came to Earth. They didn't so the TITANs stand guard over a frozen tundra. Sort of beautiful in a way.

Blake entered the DMV and remarkably it was well maintained. No looting had taken place what so ever. I guess people were frightened by the TITAN out front.

Blake sat down and thought of his Princess Starsparkle and of Elizabeth laying in his warm bed waiting for his return. They had been the guiding light in the aftermath of the massacre Blake had orchestrated. They had helped him heal and made him feel like Penny was still around. Princess Starsparkle descended from the heavens the morning after the event. Her sparkling wings were barely visible in the morning snow ,but Blake could tell it was something and it was coming towards him. He was then greeted by the powerful whinny of a horse. Blake thought it was Penny coming to take him to Pony Heaven. Then Blake saw four cloven hooves and thought maybe it was a unicorn from Pony Heaven to grant him unicorn-hood and he could ascend to Pony Heaven and be a beacon of light in this world. Blake held out his arms to catch the visitor and it turned out to be a pegasus! Blake was quite confused. Unicorns often had cloven hooves not pegasi. Blake soon noticed another visitor and saw a magnificent unicorn with cloven hooves. He brought them both into his house and sat made them as comfortable as possible in his home. They spent hours talking about various topics of equine interests and they introduced themselves as Princess Starsparkle the pegasus and Elizabeth the unicorn. They stated their purpose was to watch over Blake as a reward to his valiant efforts to save Penny. Blake knew in his heart Penny had must have talked to the Alicorn sisters who presided over Pony Heaven and they must have agreed to send two angles down to comfort him. Blake felt truly special that day and did now. Even in the cold DMV he felt as warm as summer.

As Blake was basking in the love that Penny had for him a figure then approached him.

"Who are you." Blake said as he reached for the Invisible Blade.

"I've been expecting you Blake." Whispered the figure.

"Alright, are you the guy from the phone? Are you some sort of pseudo or demi god? Or are you a puppet for a hive mind? Speak now!" Yelled Blake.

"I'm none of those things..." Said the figure.

Blake went numb... The aliens were back.

"Alright. Where are your associates? Alien! Bring them out. I'll put my life on the line in order to save this world from intergalactic space scum!"

"Settle down. I'm your new boy friend!" The figure comes out of the shadows and stands in the lone florescent light that's on in facility.

"You're the man of my dreams..." Blake stated. His mind turning into spaghetti.

The man that greeted him was tall, lean, muscular build, fair complexion, blue eyes and to top it off crisp blonde hair. If this was a hive mind Blake was ready to assimilate. Blake soon took hold of the man. He caressed the man in his arms.

"Whoa there partner. You haven't even gotten my name." The stranger said coolly.

"Oh yes! What's your name?" Blake asked excitedly.

"I'm Stan." Said Stan.

"My goodness... That name... So magical! So magnificent!" Blake stood in awe.

"Here... I have a present for you." Stan said as he reached into a pocket of his trench coat.

"Words can not describe what I feel right now" Blake said as he fell to his knees. Tears started to run down his face.

Stan held in his hand a plush horse. It wasn't just any plush horse. It was a perfect representation of Penny. Right down to her stripe going down her face and the sock on the left back hoof. It even smelled like her! It was even the perfect size for cuddling.

"I've been watching you for quite a while Blake. You're a brave warrior. The bravest snow warrior out there." Stan said as he now held Blake. Blake drifted off to sleep in his arms and woke up in the softest bed imaginable. There was a curtain all around the bed ,but it was thin enough you could see through it. The curtain was pink, so were the sheets and blanket Blake was sleeping on. The Penny plush Stan got him was laying sweetly on his chest. Blake heard two distinct patterns of snoring next to him. It was Elizabeth and Princess Starsparkle. Sleeping right next to him just like at home.

Just like at home...

Blake wasn't any where different. Blake was in his own bed! Stan must have redecorated his room while he was sleeping.

"How long was I out for? And where did Stan get all this cute princess attire for my room?"

"Ah! You're awake! You've been out for a while! But I wasn't the one who redecorated the room." Smiled Stan as he came in with a slice of red velvet cake and a can of Monster Java.

Blake sat in bed and realized. Princess Starsparkle and Elizabeth had orchestrated the whole thing. Those beautiful heavenly equines! They had realized there was many holes they could fill ,but there was one that even they couldn't fix... A desire for a special man in Blake's life.

"Where did you get this? The only place I know where you could get this stuff is from..." Blake was cut off mid sentence.

"Casey's general store? I told you I was watching you." Stan smiled and quieted Blake.

Ascending to unicorn-hood now seemed like a cherry to this already great sundae that was being handed to him on a silver platter.

"You know Stan... I've been pretty lonely and you're just the person I've been looking for. With you we could be a happy little community." Blake said lovingly.

"Yeah I know. I'll take care of you. No matter how far you roam great snow warrior you'll always be mine." Stan said quietly.

"Annabelle is safe by the way. She's in the garage. You did a pretty good job on her. You're the best mechanic I've ever talked to." Stan said as he got up.

"I hope you're still hungry after that. I made you a nice big steak! With fat done just the way you like it. Sort of crispy right?" Stan smiled as he disappeared around the corner.

Blake thought to himself... This guy... Is a miracle! Blake kissed his two equine angels on the head and placed Penny in between them. Blake looked out the window to see the sun setting over the snow wastes. It was the most magnificent sun set he had seen since the snow fell. Stan came up behind Blake and gave him a gentle squeeze. Blake felt at peace...

Even in a frozen wasteland love and warmth had penetrated through the ice and snow and landed in the home of Blake. In this home it was no longer winter it had blossomed into spring. Blake a member of the snow warriors had found peace which is what all true warriors strive for.

Author's Notes

So this is my first ever fanfiction! It's a pretty expansive crossover borrowing many things from various games, movies, a webcomic, and tv shows. I hope you enjoyed it. I put all my original characters in to the story and mixed a bit of my personal life too! 3 I did this so no one can say I got the characters wrong! Feel free to ask about any lore!


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